A Thanksgiving by Queenie Ng-Lim

“Queenie, your PET scan result is very, very good. No inflammation or cancer seen.” 

I received the above text message from Dr John, my oncologist, a day after my PET scan. 

What a relief! I burst out into happy tears. My heart overflowed with joy and gratitude to my Lord. 

I had prepared myself for the worst. The prognosis for my stage 4 ovarian cancer was gloomy. There is a 90% chance that my cancer will return within the next 2 years. Global statistics look pretty dismal too with only 17% surviving beyond 5 years. 

Nevertheless, I chose to place my trust in God. I believed that He can do the impossible (“For with God nothing will be impossible.” Luke 1: 37). 

I want to thank God for the privilege of experiencing cancer. 

“Why?” you may ask me. 

Well, cancer allowed me to experience God in a very real and intimate way. When you come close enough to death, the definitions of ‘God’ and ‘life’ are never the same. The nitty gritty things that used to bother me do not matter at all anymore. What really matters is our faith in Him. 

The past year of my life was traumatic. But I was able to rest in the promise of 1 Corinthians 10:13. I experienced God’s faithfulness. I saw that He would not allow us to be tested beyond what we are able to bear but, when we are being tested, He truly provides a way for us to be able to endure the trial. 

Before this ordeal, I had only been admitted to hospital once. It was when I gave birth to my only child. Since April last year, I made numerous trips to the hospital for blood tests, scans, intravenous infusions, and consultations. Though God allowed all these challenges into my life, He provided all the resources and support I needed. My doctors monitored my condition very cautiously. They were also willing to go the extra mile for me. 

Michael, my husband, and Emma, my daughter, have been my 2 pillars of support since day 1. Michael not only helps me out with my business, he also drives me to and from each and every one of my medical appointments. Emma has taken on the role of a ‘mother’: constantly nagging me to drink water and to sleep early. Maricel, my domestic helper, prepares ginger tea and massages my abdominal area whenever intense pain arises.

My church family and friends have also been a constant source of encouragement to me. They pray for me and send messages of hope and inspiration.

I also have been blessed with different groups of friends who would walk with me each week. I am not inclined to exercising so this act of kindness helps me get moving. Thus, this chapter of my life has allowed me to experience God’s all-sufficient grace. Indeed, I have never felt alone. 

It is nearing a year from my diagnosis. Life is almost back to normal for me. The only difference is that I have to go for intravenous infusions once in 3 weeks and am on oral medication. 

Thankfully, I am able to drive and leave home to meet my customers. I have started to attend in-person service since December last year. I also have resumed my gardening activities in church just a month ago. 

My hair has grown back! Praise God!

Though from time to time, I would experience diarrhea and ache in my stomach which can be as painful as birth pangs, but I am generally feeling very well. 

In fact, a friend who walks with me weekly, rightly proclaims that I am – literally – a ‘walking miracle’! I have discovered first-hand that our God has a reason for all the things that happen in our lives. We do not fully grasp His wisdom as His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:9) but we can simply trust in His perfect and loving will for us.              

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