Single, but not alone…
As part of our #GetReal series on Christian singleness, Deaconess Cerintha Chia shares her testimony about the life the Lord has called her to.
Many people struggle with being single. Most may desire companionship, romance, or the joy of parenthood. Others may feel the stress of peer pressure or feeling the odd one out when most of their friends are married. A few may just want someone to share the housework or cost of maintaining a home, or be irritated because they perceive that more support/recognition is given to families and couples.
I have been single all my life. Why? I believe that spouses should share similar key values, and there is nothing more important than fearing and loving God above everything else in life. I would therefore marry only a God-fearing man. Years ago, when I was in the Youth Fellowship, I knew only a handful of Christian boys around my age (3 of whom were my own cousins!). I had read somewhere that the ratio of Christian women to Christian men at that time was 4:1. Since there weren’t enough Christian men, I decided I would just get on with life and not worry about marriage. More than 4 decades have flown by. I have never regretted that decision.
Being single has given me much more freedom than most married people have. If I were married, I would have to consider how any decision I make would affect my spouse. If we had children, parental responsibilities would have taken up much time, effort and strength, both physically and emotionally.
Instead, as a single, I have been able to channel my time and energy into the many ministries which God has given me the privilege to serve Him in. All that has been very fulfilling. God has also given me a close-knit family, good friends (both married and single) and a loving Action Group. I very much doubt I could have been any happier being married. I am also very sure that I can say this only because I have Jesus as my Lord and Saviour. In my lowest moments, He has been the One Whom I talked to, and found my peace and comfort in.
We all know that each state (married or single) has different joys, responsibilities and challenges. Although the heights of joys (and depths of sorrows) could possibly be far greater when one is married, I personally think that being single is less stressful.
To anyone who is longing for a spouse, do pray for God’s gift of one. However, if, in His wisdom and sovereign will, God decides that you should remain single, be assured that it is also a gift from Him. Being single definitely has many blessings!
Would you be happier being married or single? There is no happier place to be than in the centre of God’s will. Thank God that we can trust Him to make the best decision for each one of us, and submit confidently to His will. Whether God gives you a spouse or not, do focus your energies and emotions on building up your relationship with Him and taking care of people He sends you to care for. May the joy of the Lord be your strength!